THE HOLIDAY STRUGGLE (EID AL FITR)

Today is a public holiday in Nigeria. We are celebrating the end of the 2026 Ramadan season 🎉and you already know what that means…. long weekend, food everywhere and everybody suddenly becoming a “professional eater” 😭😂 

Meanwhile, me? I have to sit myself down and have a very serious strategy meeting with the management staff in my brain....because while everyone is gearing up for enjoyment, I am here trying not to eat my destiny away.

So I told myself: Temitola, you will stay calm, cool and collected this weekend. You will not be moved by jollof rice, suya, small chops, cake or puff puff.

It's a serious struggle o. Even King Charles III himself basically endorsed Nigerian Jollof yesterday, coupled with an iconic toast “Naija no dey carry last!” 😭😂. A whole King Charles speaking broken English because he don chop Naija jollof. 

You can just imagine how scared I am of getting through this holiday weekend without messing up my diet. Its like I should sew my mouth shut because now even royal backing is involved. Its making Naija jollof look sweeter.....Let’s be honest, one spoon can turn to one big plate and one plate can turn to a whole paint bucket 👀 Hmm!

Anyway, to help myself not fall into temptation, I decided to prepare alternative, tasty, healthy smoothies 🥤made from fruits that are inexpensive, easy to find, and actually enjoyable.

And because I don’t want to suffer/enjoy alone, here are some of the combinations I came up with 👇🏽in case you want to behave like me 😌.

Fat Burner Glow

Banana

Spinach/Ugwu

Lemon

Ginger

Tropical Digestive Cleanser

Pineapple

Mango

Ginger

Turmeric

Hydration & Detox Blend

Watermelon

Lemon

Ginger

Fiber-Rich Belly Slimmer

Apple

Pear

Spinach/Ugwu

Ginger

Energy Booster Mix

Banana

Mango

Turmeric

Lemon

Honestly, these are my “stay out of trouble” tailored meal supplements for this holiday period 😭 because the temptation outside is not here to play. Also, if you are a lady over 40, I heard Tumeric and Ginger are good for us that's why they are included in my mix. 

The good news is that I have kept up with my workouts in the last 2 weeks and hope to continue the rest of the holiday with prayer, discipline and sometimes… disappearance from the scene of the crime 🏃🏽‍♀️

Weight-wise, I haven't gained on the scale. I have lost 2kg since I started this project 2 weeks ago. It is not the fast paced loss I have been used to but I'm on track with healthily losing 1kg per week. The overall aim is to get to my goal without making it only about weight loss but having a healthy mind and love for the body.

Eid Mubarak Comrades! Thank you for reading!

 THE GREAT COMEBACK' FROM "COW & FISH" TO FOCUSED AGAIN 🐄🐟➡️🔥

So… let’s talk about Saturday.

Because clearly, Saturday came to teach me a lesson I will not forget in a hurry.

I went for a birthday event with full confidence, good intentions, and the spirit of “I’ll just behave small.”

Next thing, your girl was eating like a well-fed village cow and drinking like a fish that just discovered happiness.

Balance? Nowhere to be found.

Discipline? Missing in action.

Portion control? For where...

By the time I got home, I already knew…“Temitola, you have lost the plot. You bungled our plan”

Sunday & Monday: The Consequences 😭

Ah. Let me not lie to you, what I thought would be a “sleep it off and move on” situation turned into a two-day recovery program.

                I was tired.

                My body felt heavy.

                My head was doing "teenini tanana" in twilight zone.

                Even my motivation said, “Madam, call me when you’re serious again”

And the one that pained me the most? 👉🏽 The scale said 80kg.

Yes! The 3kg I had lost in less than 2 weeks of grinding and being committed, came back like they never left. No apology. No explanation. Just vibes "we're baaaack".

But Here’s the Twist… 👀

Despite all that chaos, my body still showed up for me.

When I got back to the gym on Tuesday:

    I didn’t have to struggle like I expected.

    My strength was still there.

            My body didn’t look or feel like I had gained the weight.

            It just worked.

And that’s when it hit me: 👉🏽 Progress is deeper than the scale.

The Real Lesson 💡

This wasn’t a failure. It was a reminder.

1. One bad day is not the end of my journey.

2. My body is more resilient than you think.

3. But also…👉🏽 Alcohol is no longer my mate.

Let’s be honest, what used to take one night to recover from, now takes two business days and a prayer session. At this age, alcohol is not enjoyment… it is a delayed punishment.

The Comeback Energy 💪🏽

Instead of spiraling, I made a decision:

        No guilt

        No overthinking

        No “I’ve ruined everything”

Just this: 👉🏽 “Get back on the wheel.”.....and I did.

                Treadmill ✅

                Arm workouts ✅

                Mind reset ✅

Moving Forward 🎯

I’ve told myself something very important:

👉🏽 “At events, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

        You don’t have to finish all the food like a destitute.

        You don’t have to drink to belong, like a teenager.

        You don’t have to lose yourself to enjoy yourself

                You just have to remember your goal.

Final Word ❤️

This journey is not about perfection.

It’s about returning quickly when you fall off.

Yes, I ate like a cow.

Yes, I drank like a fish.

Yes, the scale tried to disgrace me.

But guess what?  👉🏽 I got back up.

And that…

is the real win.

WHEN LIFE INTERRUPTS THE PLAN

Yesterday didn’t go as planned.

Whats that saying again....."Man proposes, God disposes" ...In simple terms, this means that humans can make plans and intentions, but the final outcome is in God’s hands. Life doesn’t always go exactly the way we plan.

You know how some days feel busy, yet when you look back you can’t really explain where the time went? That was yesterday for me. I had every intention of writing this post, staying disciplined, and keeping the Lose Weight or Die Trying journey moving forward. I even had an event to attend that I didn't want to miss.

Then life happened.

My little boy fell and hit his head, and suddenly the day became about hospital visits, worry, and making sure he was okay. Everything else stopped.

Thankfully, he is fine, and for that I am deeply grateful to God.

Moments like that remind you of something important: life doesn’t pause for our plans.

Fitness journeys, weight loss goals, productivity plans—none of them exist in isolation. Real life happens around them. Children fall. Work piles up. Unexpected situations arise.

The old me might have called yesterday a failure. Thankfully I didn't indulge in the opportunity to hug a large tub of Hagen Daz ice cream, swim in a pot of soft greasy plantain on a bed of 5 fried onion eggs and romance the sugary jam dougnut I had been missing .....

I handled things and saw things differently.

Yesterday wasn’t a failure. It was simply life being life. And the real test of this journey is not perfectio, it’s continuing anyway.

So today, I resume despite the emotional trauma.

I will return to my workouts, continue my diet plan, and stay prayerful and positive. Because this journey isn’t about perfect days, it’s about persistence.

So here I am today.

Still on the journey.

Still committed.

Because Lose Weight or Die Trying was never meant to be about perfect days. It’s about refusing to quit on imperfect ones.

 LATE......BUT STILL STANDING

Today’s submission is coming late, and please forgive me. The morning has been busy in the kind of way where you sit down for one minute and suddenly it is three hours later and you are still not sure what exactly you accomplished. 😄

Self-development has been particularly demanding lately. There are tests and exams to read for at school, things to prepare for at work, and the general pressure that comes with trying to grow, improve, and not embarrass yourself academically or professionally.

But of course, life does not politely pause other responsibilities just because you are trying to study.

There is also the small matter of being a mother, a role that does not come with a closing hour. Children do not understand things like “Mummy is studying for an exam.” They simply understand things like “Mummy, I am hungry.” Even though.... yes we have the help of "Aunty Nanny", it's still impossible to detach one's mind from the presence of a child.

Then there is the emotional side of life quietly occupying space in the mind. Being the daughter of a father who recently passed, while also remembering a mother whose 6th year remembrance has just been acknowledged. Those kinds of things sit quietly in the background of your thoughts and make concentration a little more difficult than usual.

So between work, studying, motherhood, memories, and emotions, the mind has been a bit crowded lately.

And on top of all this… this Lose Weight or Die Trying Project says one should now also eat healthy.

Which is frankly quite rude.

Because when life is stressful, the body is not asking for grilled vegetables and portion control.

No.

The body is asking for soft Agege bread, jam doughnuts, beef suya with the fat, and approximately 10 gallons of white wine for emotional support.

But here we are.

Despite all the wahala inside life’s cooking pot, we must still keep pushing.

And that brings me to the progress report. Yesterday I stepped on the scale for my "Week 1 Weigh-in".

I was hoping for a dramatic moment, the kind where the scale drops by 5kg and inspirational music starts playing in the background.

But alas, the scale simply looked at me calmly and announced that I have lost 2kg since starting this journey just over a week ago.

Just 2kg! Ordinary 2kg!

At first I stared at the number the way Nigerian students stare at exam results when the grade is not exactly what they prayed for.

But then I reminded myself of something important. This journey was never about speed. It was about consistency.

And the fact that I haven't given up yet is already a victory.

Remember our rule? No holes. Only ladders.

Every day we climb one small step higher. Some steps are big, some are tiny, but the important thing is that we do not climb down.

So yes, the progress may look small today but the determination is still very large.

And if there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that stubborn consistency can achieve things that dramatic enthusiasm cannot.

So today’s lesson from the Lose Weight or Die Trying Project is simple:

Even when life is busy, stressful, emotional, and slightly tempted by Agege bread… Keep climbing the ladder.

Slow progress is still progress.

And who knows? At this rate, one day the scale will finally cooperate, the body will cooperate, and the Agege bread will have to start respecting boundaries.

Until then…

We move.

Lets Lose Weight or Die Trying Comrades!💪

POST 6: HOLES 🕳️ OR LADDERS 目

Today started on a very technical note.

The note is called “bleh.”  You know that feeling when you wake up and your spirit has not yet joined your body? That was me this morning.

First problem: bad sleep.

Second problem: guilt.

Last night, in a moment of temporary madness, I ate dinner past my scheduled diet time (5pm). Not a terrible crime in the grand scheme of humanity… but in the Kingdom of Dieting, it is practically treason.

So I woke up already feeling like I had violated the constitution of my own diet plan.

Then came the third problem.

My AirPods were missing. Gone. Vanished. Disappeared like a government budget after approval.

At that point my morning mood was doing press-ups in the basement of happiness.

Now normally, this is the exact moment where my emotions try to drag me toward a very dangerous place.

A hole.

Not just any hole.

A deep emotional hole that works like a transportation hub.

First stop: Sadness Station.

From there you board the Regret Roller Coaster.

Then you transfer to the Binge Eating Express.

And before you know it, you’re on a non-stop flight back to Square One, eating nonsense and asking yourself how life went so wrong.

But this morning something different happened.

I looked at the hole. 🕳️ ....the hole of sadness, depression, bad decisions and terrible mistakes... 

And instead of jumping in like an Olympic diver on a quest of no return, I paused. I prayed.

“God please take control of my emotions before I make any foolish decision today.”

Then I did something radical.

I stepped away from the hole… and looked for a ladder. The ladder to greatness.

Now let me be honest, climbing the ladder did not start gloriously.

I dragged myself to the gym like a reluctant toddler who hates to shower.....kicking and screaming.

The first few minutes of the workout were not inspiring.

My body was like: “Madam please… let's leave this place.”

But something interesting happened. As I took every step on the treadmill, little by little, the fog lifted.

Energy started returning. My mood improved. My confidence came back.

By the end of the workout I was punching the air like a boxer about to enter the ring, ready to deliver a knockout punch to life and its endless challenges.

And just like that…I felt a lot better.

Today reminded me of something important:

Life will always present holes.

But we still get to choose whether we jump in… or climb up.

So going forward, I intend to keep focusing on climbing ladders instead of falling into holes.

And whenever I feel myself drifting toward the edge, I pray I will remember to pause, breathe, and call on God before taking a bad step toward decline.

Because this journey is not easy. But the mission remains the same:

Lose Weight… or Die Trying. 💪

Have a lovely day comrades!

 IT'S INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY, PUT SOME RESPECT ON THAT!

The world celebrates International Women’s Day, so today’s post on the Lose Weight or Die Trying (LWODT) Project must first start with a salute to women everywhere.

Happy International Women’s Day to all my female comrades around the world! 🌸

Cheers to us for our amazing contribution(s) to the production, development, and destiny of mankind.

We speak power, we nurture greatness, we build families, communities, and nations. Here’s to the strength, resilience, wisdom, and grace that women bring to the world every single day.

Today we celebrate ourselves and each other. 💪🏽✨

Now let’s talk honestly for a moment.

Being a woman is not a small job.

From the outside, people sometimes act like women and men are doing exactly the same things in life. Equal playing field. Same effort. Same responsibilities.

But let’s be honest..... sometimes the comparison forgets a few small details. For example…

A lot of us women are working full time, contributing financially, meeting deadlines, attending meetings, producing results ......just like the men.

But after the office closes, many of us are also running a second shift.

We are mothers.

We are emotional support systems.

We are homework supervisors.

We are snack providers.

We are coordinators of entertainment and extra-curricular activities.

We are liaison officers between the children and the rest of the world.

We are bedtime negotiators.

We are the people who somehow know where everybody’s socks, school bags, and missing chargers are.........and everything else in between.

Motherhood can feel like a thankless job.

The children may not say thank you.

The laundry will never clap for you.

And nobody gives awards for successfully convincing a toddler that vegetables are not a personal attack.

But women keep going anyway.

We keep pushing.

We keep showing up.

We keep holding families together, even on days when we ourselves are running on low battery mode.

And somewhere inside all of that, we are also trying to take care of our own health.

Which is where the Lose Weight or Die Trying Project comes in.

Because if women are going to continue running the world quietly behind the scenes, we must also remember something important:

The engine must be maintained. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

You cannot chase toddlers, careers, dreams, and responsibilities on zero energy and exhausted bodies.

Taking care of your health is not vanity. It is survival.

And frankly speaking, we need to stay strong and healthy for another important reason..........we cannot leave the entire future of the world only in the hands of men. Abeg o!

History has already shown us that if women take a short break, men can very quickly turn the place into confusion and unfinished projects.

So for the sake of humanity, ladies , please lets stay fit. Lets eat better, move our body, rest when we can, laugh often.

Because strong women build strong families, strong communities, and a stronger world.

And the world still needs us.

So on this International Women’s Day, here is my encouragement to every woman reading this:

Take care of yourself too.

Not just for today.

Not just for your family.

But for the future we are still quietly helping to build.

Till we share again, please Lose Weight or Die Trying!💪🏽✨

A Different Kinda Saturday on Lose Weight or Die Trying (LWODT)

It’s Saturday and I’m posting this late because my day has been… busy.

Busy running around Lagos, doing a hundred small things and the Lord's work. Glory to God. Somehow I wonder how the clock moved so fast. At some point I suspect the clock and PHCN have a secret agreement to zap time and energy on weekends. If you dont gerrit forget about it.

Let me confess something dear readers and fans, yesterday was Friday and I thought about my old Friday nights ......they were not innocent.

Friday nights used to mean fun.

And by fun I mean:

• wine

• cocktails

• pizza

• suya

• french fries

• and enough small chops to feed a medium-sized wedding reception.

.....what was on your mind naughty people... You thought I was going to give you bad gist. I was a good girl. Heh heh!

After an indulgent TGIF, Saturday mornings would arrive with their usual consequences.

My traditional Saturday plan  used to be hangover brunch, the kind where you sit somewhere fancy pretending you are having a “relaxed breakfast” when in reality you are trying to negotiate peace between your head and your stomach.

Enter the famous “hair of the dog” mimosa strategy,  which, for those unfamiliar, is basically saying:

“What caused the problem might also solve the problem.”.....Very scientific. Tee hee hee!

Fast forward to LWODT era...

Friday night was as pure as a new born baby's soul and Saturday began as holy as a Sunday morning. 

This morning I woke up, did my quiet time with God..... thanksgiving, reflection, trying to gather my thoughts before the day ran away with me.

I had a plan.

Gym for 60 minutes.......and I was actually looking forward to it.....well, not entirely because of athletic ambition, I must confess.......I was mainly excited to debut my new gym baffs. If you don’t know what baffs are, it simply means cool clothes that make you look great… even if the body is still negotiating the details.

So as I was still thinking of getting up to go to the gym the devil tried to discourage me.

Just when it was time to get up, my mind suddenly started producing very intelligent excuses...and in bullet points:

        • “You can go later.”

• “Rest is important.”

• “Your body needs recovery.”

• “Even Olympic athletes take days off.”

It was a very convincing internal meeting, complete with powerpoint presentation.

But thankfully my sister showed up.

In my mind she came with koboko (cane) to drag me out of bed.

Okay… she didn’t actually bring koboko.

But the fact that she made the effort to climb up 33 stairs to motivate me got me feeling like I owed her the basic courtesy of trying.

So off we went.

Now let me tell you something about the gym that nobody advertises properly.

When you arrive wearing fresh baffs, your confidence level is very high. You walk in like someone who has been working out since the Athens Olympics.

But five minutes later, reality begins.

The treadmill starts asking difficult questions.

The dumbbells start looking heavier than they looked on Instagram.

And suddenly you realize your body and your outfit had very different expectations for the day.

But here is the interesting part.

Somewhere between the sweating, the laughing, and the medium suffering… I realized something:

The hardest part of the gym is not the exercise, It is showing up.

Because once you are there, pride alone will force you to do something. You cannot arrive in fresh baffs and just stand there like decoration.

So you move.

You try.

You sweat.

You survive.

And when it is over, something magical happens.

You feel ridiculously proud of doing something that, a few hours earlier, you were trying very hard to avoid.

So today’s lesson for the LWODT Project is simple: 

Sometimes success is not about discipline, it is about having a sister, someone who refuses to let you fail quietly in bed.

And if your support system occasionally threatens you with imaginary koboko to get you moving...Please appreciate them. They might just be the reason you eventually succeed.

Until tomorrow comrades.

Lets Lose Weight or Die Trying. 💪

The “Lose Weight or Die Trying” Project Day 4- Progress 

Day 4 report… and ladies and gentlemen, we are still alive. 🎉

First things first, I must confess that I am definitely more energized than I was on Day 1. On Day 1 I was moving like a government file from one desk to another… slowly, painfully, and with plenty of unnecessary stops. But now? There is a small spring in my step thanks to the daily 40–60 minute workouts. Small spring o… let’s not exaggerate before my body hears and starts complaining again.

I must also proudly announce that I now have a thigh gap. Okay… let’s be honest… it appears with a little assistance when I stand legs akimbo like a village chief giving a speech. But still… progress is progress. Soon the thigh gap will appear without supervision. Tee hee hee.

Now let’s talk about Day 3, because yesterday tried to test my destiny.

Hunger was knocking on my stomach door like a tax collector. So I had to take emergency measures. I went out and bought every variety of fruit I could find .....I'm exaggerating a bit but I got some apples, bananas, oranges, mangoes, pears,…. basically if it grew on a tree, I brought it home. The strategy is simple: when hunger strikes, I reach for fruit instead of desperately gulping water like someone trying to pass an exam by drinking water for inspiration.

However… I must also confess something.

Yesterday I stole about five pieces of my son’s cheese crackers. Now technically it may not be stealing because I am the one that bought the crackers, but the way I was eating them quietly and looking left and right… it definitely felt like stealing. Who really was I hiding from... Anyway,  mothers will understand. 😭

There isn’t much new to report today except one exciting thing….I checked my weight and I have lost precisely 2.65kg since starting 4 days ago at 80.45kg.

Now before we start celebrating with trumpets, I know it is probably mostly water weight, but please allow me to enjoy this small victory in peace.

The real excitement will be the end of Week-1 weigh-in, which is coming soon, BGG. ....

(BGG means By the Grace of God or God willing- this was coined by my sisters and I, just so you know).

Anyway going back to basking in my weight loss progress, I have been thinking… my dear readers, supporters, observers, and silent food temptations… I feel like you should start contributing towards a congratulatory prize if I reach my goal of 60kg by July 31, 2026. Keep this thought in your breast pockets to cash out when the time comes. (Rocking in my chair while smiling sheepishly).

I meaaaannnn motivation is important in life nau.

If athletes get medals, surely a woman surviving fruit, discipline, and occasional cracker theft deserves something. Please start planning accordingly.

For now, we march on.

As someone wisely said: “Small progress every day eventually leads to big results. Just keep showing up.” I can testify to this and my close pals will also confirm this too.

So I pledge to keep showing up… one fruit, one workout, and one suspiciously missing cracker at a time.

Till my next post...See ya BGG. 😄

DAY 3 OF RECALIBRATION 

Today feels different. 

Not dramatic, Not miraculous.

Just different enough to notice.

On Day 1, when I wrote the first post, I felt heavy, not just physically, but mentally. Heavy with decision fatigue. Heavy with years of starting, stopping, and starting again. Heavy with the familiar fear of “Here we go again.”

But today, to the glory of God? I feel lighter.

Not “run-a-marathon-on-an-empty-stomach” light.

Just… fresher. Clearer. Less foggy.

My body is responding to the seriousness. Low carbs. No sugar. Plenty of water. Daily workouts. Nothing exotic. Nothing Instagram-worthy. Just structure and consistency... the unsexy twins of progress.

My head feels clearer. My movements feel easier. Even my mood has improved, which is saying a lot because life is still life-ing at full volume (I mean, No breaks to clear the ear drums! Just a barrage of non-stop "LIFE-ING NOISE".

What has surprised me most is my mindset. I’m able to think more positively. I’m making plans. Real plans. Not the vague “I’ll figure it out someday” kind, but actual moves toward progressing in life. Not procrastinating but taking steps to get things done without hesitation. Its like, as the weight trickles off the body, there's more space for the brain to operate.

Yesterday, I received a text inviting me to a meeting scheduled, of all places, at a café. My heart skipped a beat. Instantly, my mind betrayed me. Thoughts of soul food came rushing in uninvited. Out of nowhere, my brain began broadcasting aromas: freshly baked bread, sausage rolls, jam doughnuts, gelato, and hot chocolate crowned with whipped cream. Just to mention a few.

In a moment of sheer self-preservation, I reached, quickly and slightly shakily, for the bottle of water beside me, hoping to silence the growing emptiness in my stomach before it formally notified my brain that we were, in fact, starving.

This time, I won the battle of the mind.

This deserves recognition.

I sat in the café, ordered a salad, and lived to tell the story. When the treacherous wave of temptation came rolling in, I calmly chose orange juice. No mourning period. No silent resentment. No dramatic internal monologue about life’s unfairness.

Just peace. And vitamins.

Just choices.

That alone feels like growth.

I keep reminding myself of a simple truth "there is no progress/success without struggle" or in someone else's words "no pain no gain".

If it were easy, everyone would do it and nobody would be on Day 3 explaining themselves to boiled eggs.

The struggle, I’m learning, isn’t proof that something is wrong. It’s proof that something is working.

Because I know myself. If I give in to giving up, if I “rest small” and turn it into a full-blown retreat, I won’t land gently. I’ll return straight to ground zero, unpack my bags, and act like I never left.

And ground zero is very welcoming.

It offers snacks......And excuses......And zero accountability.

So today, I choose discomfort over regret.

I’m not chasing perfection. I’m chasing momentum. I’m learning to respect the process — even on days when my body whispers, “Just one bad-decision-bite won’t hurt.”

(We all know how that conversation usually ends.)

Dear comrades, this recalibration isn’t about punishment. It’s about alignment. About teaching my body and mind that we’re on the same team now. That I can be firm without being cruel. Disciplined without being dramatic.

Day 3 doesn’t feel loud.

It feels steady.

And steady, I’m learning, is powerful.

Tomorrow will worry about itself. Today, I will show up. I will drink my water. I will move my body. I will stay present.

And for now, that is more than enough.

ITS 10:30 AM AND I'M HUNGRY

It’s 10:30 a.m., and my body has started asking questions.

Important ones.

Aggressive ones.

The kind that suggest a formal protest is loading.

Somewhere between hunger pang number three and my stomach clearing its throat, my brain randomly decided to ponder the meaning of AM and PM, to the point I had to ask Google (For the record: AM is Ante Meridiem which means "before midday". PM is Post Meridiem which means "after midday". You’re welcome. Knowledge has been shared. Growth has occurred.)

Now that we’ve settled that very pressing matter, let me tell you this: my body, rudely and without prior notice, demanded an explanation for why it was still hungry after only two very boring boiled eggs and a handful of mixed nuts.

Excuse me???

I live in Nigeria. I am a civil servant. I am a single mother. My days are full; work, responsibility, caregiving, bills, and decisions that do not pause just because I’m tired or hungry. I live in a house that is always stocked with food, in a neighbourhood where excellent restaurants are everywhere.

Temptation here is not occasional. It is geographical.

And even when money is tight, especially when money is tight, it is incredibly easy to want to spend one’s last dime on something warm, indulgent, comforting. Something that feels like relief, even if just for ten minutes and a receipt.

This is usually the hour when hunger stops being physical and becomes emotional. When my mind starts scanning for comfort, not nutrients. Bread would be easy. Something warm would feel kind. Something quick would quiet the noise.

At this exact time of day, I know precisely where my thoughts would normally drift: Dulce Café. Bakendales. Wilson’s Bistro. A morning latte or hot chocolate, plus at least two cheese croissants, because obviously.

And on days when indulgence felt “earned,” I wouldn’t stop there. I’d order a full English breakfast or fish and chips because why spend good money on a salad, leave hungry, and still feel cheated? That logic used to make perfect sense to me.

Today, I’m sitting with a different kind of awareness.

So far, I’ve done one hour and thirty minutes of cardio and I’ve been able to fast. Over the last 48 hours, I gave myself a one-hour eating window and genuinely tried to keep it healthy.

Yesterday, however, tested me.

The Renee Supermarket cake sitting quietly in the fridge did not allow me peace. I thought about it. I negotiated with myself. I held imaginary meetings.

And yes, I ate it.

But here’s what’s different this time, it didn’t derail me.

I didn’t spiral.

I didn’t abandon the day.

I didn’t announce failure and start planning a “proper restart” for next Monday.

I still showed up at the gym and did my one hour.

When my mind starts to drift toward guilt, panic, or old patterns, I’ve asked God for help to refocus. Not for perfection but for clarity.  For the strength to pause, choose differently, and return to the path without self-contempt.

Right now, discipline doesn’t look dramatic, it looks like pausing.

Breathing.

Choosing structure over punishment.

Staying present instead of disappearing.

I don’t feel strong, I feel aware. 

And today, awareness is enough.

It’s 10:30 a.m.

I’m hungry.

And I’m still here.

 Why I Called This “Lose Weight or Die Trying”

I am a Nigerian female civil servant.

I live and work in Nigeria, in a culture that loves food, celebration, and a good time and yet still understands the value of living healthy.

Every day comes with its own weight: work pressure, bills, care giving, responsibilities, and the quiet emotional load that doesn’t always have a name. When you add the absence of a supportive life partner and the general rigours of daily living, it becomes very easy to jump on the diet bandwagon and just as easy, to fall off almost immediately.

This blog didn’t start as a grand idea.

It started out of frustration.

I wasn’t looking for a therapist. I didn’t even think I needed one. I just felt that if I could put my thoughts somewhere, if I could speak honestly about the process, the struggle, and the effort, it might help me stay committed and focused.

So I decided to let the world be my therapist.

“Lose Weight or Die Trying” is not a slogan.

It is the truth of how serious this feels to me now.

My lowest weight as an adult was 70kg.

My goal weight is 57kg.

That means I need to lose about 20kg.

But more importantly, I need to keep my mind and my spirit intact while I do it.

Weight loss, for me, is not just about the scale or how I look. It is about reducing the weight that life itself places on me. I have come to understand that carrying excess physical weight often makes emotional, mental, and daily challenges feel heavier than they already are. If I can strengthen my body, simplify my habits, and show myself discipline in this one area, it becomes easier to face everything else  (work pressure, responsibility, uncertainty, and even loneliness), with more clarity and resilience. In that sense, weight loss is not the goal; it is the facilitator. A way of creating space, energy, and capacity to carry life better.

Therefore, this is not a blog about quick fixes or perfect discipline. It is a record of trying, in real life, in a real body, in a real country, under real pressure.

I am not writing from the finish line.

I am writing from the middle.

Some days will be clear.

Some days will be messy.

Some days I will get it right.

Some days I won’t........like today.

But this time, I am staying present.

I am choosing focus over fantasy.

I am choosing effort over silence.

So here I am, trying to lose the weight.

Trying to live well.

Trying to keep my mind and spirit whole.

This is me, trying and I WILL!